Tuesday, September 20, 2011

How do you wear those shoes?

One question I get on a daily basis is, "How do you wear those shoes?" or some other variation like, "How do you walk in those shoes?" The question comes in various styles of both awe and hatefulness.

Maybe the person is thinking to themselves, "Wow those are awesome, I wish I could pull off a pair of shoes like that!" But mostly I get the feeling it is more, "I can't believe that stupid woman came to pick up her kid from first grade wearing a pair of hooker heels!"

Either way I give the same response: " One foot in front of the other." (duh)

So here I am to let you know how I wear these shoes! And, for those of you who really want to give it a try, I will give you my 101 guide to wearing stilettos.

First if you haven't worn or are not used to wearing high heels, my advice is don't get too ambitious. Wear what is a comfortable height for you. But always know: the higher the heel the better the leg looks.

Stilettos have a way of elongating your leg and making you look taller and slimmer. It's an illusion. But remember don't kill yourself!

My grandmother always said pain is beauty and beauty is pain, but hey, broken limbs are not fun! Don't start out with anything higher than three inches. Don't freak out on me. I said three inches, not five stories. They are shoes- not stilts! Get out a ruler and you will see it is not that bad. Here I'll show you:

From here <------------------------1-----------------------------2---------------------------3> to here is the dreaded three inches. It is not that bad. Pick a measurement between one and three inches and start there.

Once you have decided what height you want- it is time to go shopping.

Two of my favorite places to find awesome shoes at a discount price are Rugged Warehouse and Ross. But that's because I refuse to pay more than $30 for shoes.

Find your budget, pick your shoes, and please try them on.

Shoes, like clothes, are not all the same cut. You have to try them on to see if they fit. Walk around in them. If they are uncomfortable, hurt your feet, and there is no possible way to have them stretched- don't buy them. You won't wear them. Trust me, I have made that mistake. Also, while shopping think of style and color. What is going to integrate best into your current wardrobe?

All right. Now that you have your shoes and you are safe in your home it is time to start walking in them.

First, put your shoes on and stand up. Remember one of the keys to not toppling over head over heels (giggle) is to make sure you have good posture. Head up, shoulders back.

Now, just like your first time roller skating, hug the wall. Use the wall or what furniture you have around to help you balance. Walk around to get the hang of them.

Another trick to learn balance is to get out the vacuum cleaner. I am serious! Vacuum the floor. This will help you take small steps while balancing with the vacuum. And your floors will look fabulous! And hey, you can put on a cute dress and some pearls and pretend you are June Cleaver! Fun!!!

Ahhhh... relaxed!
Shoes are a great accessory, and they give you that added extra something to an outfit. Especially if you are like me and have to practice fashion on a budget. You can make something old look brand new with the right shoe. But remember: if you are not comfortable with them, don't wear them.

There is so much more on this topic I could talk about but I will save that for another time.

For now I will leave you with my #1 secret for wearing stilettos. Ready for it....? I take them off! When I come home the shoes come off. Hey, even my feet get sore sometimes. And contrary to popular belief I don't wear them all the time- just most of the time.

As always...
Stay Fabulous!


  1. OMG!!!! Awesome. I knew there was a reason I love you!

  2. Why do you think that drag queens seem to be able to walk in heels better than most women? Also please instuct the ladies to please stand up and "glide" in their heels...instead of humped up shoulders and "bendless knees"! I watch some of these new startlets walk out on Conan and they look AWFUL....they look like someone is holding a gun to thier back...and walk like ..well I dont know what...but they need HELP! Maybe they need to get their local DQ to give them some lessons.
    Signed Concerned Hubby of a former DQ

  3. This is a GREAT piece! The vacuum training is a fabulous idea!!

    Thank you for all of the info!!!

  4. @Mitzi, funny story about that. I learned that little trick from a Drag Queen!